making permanent, positive changes in your life.

83

By aka-dj

Why It's Hard.

 To make positive changes in ones life, there needs to be a clear understanding of the following.

Most "bad habits" come naturally, or easily. We do them without even thinking. So, to make changes, that is to say, turn bad habits into good habits, requires effort. Lots of effort. We naturally tend to avoid effort where ever and when ever we can. Thus making it hard.

The Solution.

Just because it's hard, is not to say, it's impossible. There is a process to help achieve the results you want. It is in effect a simple process, that requiers discipline. Another trait that many lack, or are weak in. So, let me list the process I believe works. I know it works because it's the process I have been using in my nown life.

  • Why? Why do you want to change?
  • How do you want the end result to "look" like?
  • What thought patterns can you identify that are involved?
  • Replace those thought patterns with positive ones.
  • Take apropriate action to establish those thoughts.
  • Continue (discipline) untill you achieve the results you seek.

WHY

If your "why" is not strong enough, you will quit early, and fail. Just because you "should", or it "seems like a good idea", will probably not do. Make sure you have a valuable reason, so that you "stay the course"!

HOW you want the end result to look like will motivate you, along with the WHY. It will give you the clear goal that you need to know when you arrive, or, if you have not yet arrived.

Thought patterns are a little tricky to identify. I find that I have to work backwards, so to speak. I ask myself, why did I do that? Why did I do it that way? What makes me feel that way? When did I start thinking that it was "OK" to do . . . x x x.? At what point am I already committed to doing (it) the same old way? Was it instictive? Did something trigger me? Was there an external influence? What I am saying is, analyze your process of doing whatever it is that you want to change. This will help identify the "steps" you use, al be it uncosciously, which you have to know if you want to change (it).

Another thing that will be helpful in some cases is to ask a (trusted) friend to help you identify,and isolate these steps.

Replace the negative steps with the positive ones you seek to change. In many cases, just the opposite will be pretty close to being the right ones. The previous tep will (peobably) be the hardest one. This one is simple in comparison. The thing here is to "take action". It's not enough to identify the steps, work out what they should be, as opposed to what they are, and then feel good that you have done something. No, you have merely identified, NOT changed anything yet. You have to take action, implement the "new" steps.

The next one is also another hard one. Discipline!

DISCIPLINE

This is also a hard step for many people. Discipline requires you to do things you do NOT always want to do. They are unpleasant, inconvenient, mundane etc, but is essential for success. Someone said that 80% of success is just showing up every day. If you are not a very disciplined person, you amy want to get help from someone to "coach" you through it.Someone that you can be accountable to. Someone who will not feelsorry for you when you want to quit. They will "discipline" you, externally, untill you can do it internally.

This is a very simple answer to the request, but I know it works. It may not be as simple to change every "negative" in your life into a "positive", but every success will give you confidence to do it again. I suggest, if you have a major thing in your life you want to change, start with something less intimidating. When you succeed with that, you will gain confidence with the big thing(s)

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

 I have to ask you this question, "are you SERIOUS?" about changing thing(s) in your life? We all want change, at some time or other, but wanting, or wishing won't do it! It takes ACTION and a serious COMMITMENT!

I also have to tell you, that if you do not invest in yourself, you will not change! Have a look at some resources found at the site linked below, and make that commitment. The old saying holds true in this instance, "if it costs you nothing, that's the value that you will put on it (NOTHING)

How helpful was this Hub?

On a scale of one to five, how helpful was this Hub?

  • 1 not very
  • 2 made me think
  • 3 quite helpful
  • 4 I really liked it
  • 5 I am going to implement it
See results without voting

Some helpful resources

Changes (Dresden Files, Book 12)
Amazon Price: $9.67
List Price: $25.95
Changes
Amazon Price: $2.99
Changes: Volume Three of the Collegium Chronicles (A Valdemar Novel)
Amazon Price: $3.90
List Price: $25.95
Changes, Changes (Aladdin Picture Books)
Amazon Price: $2.87
List Price: $6.99

Comments

jasper420 profile image

jasper420 Level 3 Commenter 2 months ago

Very usefull! Clearly written and well put togeather! I both learned alot and enjoyed reading this a job well done!

kingmaxler profile image

kingmaxler Level 2 Commenter 4 months ago

Excellent article on making changes. You are so right that it takes action and commitment. Thank you.

aka-dj profile image

aka-dj Hub Author 11 months ago

Thank you.

drdspervez profile image

drdspervez Level 1 Commenter 11 months ago

It's a very nice hub and I rated you up. :)

DR.DURRESHAHWAR PERVEZ

hypnothusiast profile image

hypnothusiast 11 months ago

You must make the Choice to take the Chance if you want anything to Change. Great hub!

Daniela Daljac profile image

Daniela Daljac 18 months ago

Everything is possible, all it is in our minds!!!

writingsfromthemind 21 months ago

Not a bad hub. There are lots of good pointers being mentioned. The changes have to start with us. I enjoy reading this.

Coollikeme profile image

Coollikeme 21 months ago

I am battling ti find myself read this hub at the right time. Maybe its a good sign thanks!!

heart4theword profile image

heart4theword Level 4 Commenter 2 years ago

Setting goals, to make new changes in your life, can definitely be a positive experience:) Another Great Hub!

InnerGold profile image

InnerGold 2 years ago

Success in anything begins in the mind. Good post!

aefrancisco profile image

aefrancisco 2 years ago

A very optimistic hub!

Very well said - hope it can be very well done though quite hard to implement :)

Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick Level 7 Commenter 2 years ago

Thank you. I guess the timimg was just right for me to read your hub. My new journey started today. Bless you and your family.

aka-dj profile image

aka-dj Hub Author 2 years ago

Deary me Dim! I never thought my (humble) article would have such a profound effect on anyone. I'm so glad I wrote it. Even if it was meant just for you, it was worth it. I hope that you do INDEED benefit in the long run. But, like any journey in life, you have to start with the first step. Sounds Like you have taken it. Good on you.

As it turns out, of all my hubs, this one ranks the highest for views. Not so many comments, but still gets out there.

I really appreciate your feedback.

If I can ever be of further help, I make that help available. Just ask. Blessings. :)

Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick Level 7 Commenter 2 years ago

I almost cried reading this. I've been askingmyself and my husband for months. Where's the real 'me' gone? Why do I have continuous negative thoughts? I want the 'other me' back, so I'm grateful for your advice which I will begin trying today. Thank you from the botom of my heart

aka-dj profile image

aka-dj Hub Author 2 years ago

Thanks Debrah. I'm glad you found it helpful. Hope your daughter is ready soon, too. As a parent, I know what it's like. (I think). Blessings. : )

Deborah-Lynn profile image

Deborah-Lynn 2 years ago

HI Aka,

Thanks for the work you did on this, I love a Hub with forethought and order, it really helps to organize my own thinking. I will forward this on to my daughter as soon as she gives me a hint she is ready...you know what I'm saying.:)

aka-dj profile image

aka-dj Hub Author 3 years ago

Thanks Dranjesh for the following comment,

"

Very nicely compiled contents :)

Good points to practically impliment...

One thing is for sure.. every one wants to be blissful...and positive but this process needs to be from inside and genuine. One can be much positive if he has spiritual support.

Some of the concepts can be founda at this link.. please do see and drop in your comments

regards"

Sorry for not including the links, but it's not the right place to promote them.

Cheers,

aka-dj profile image

aka-dj Hub Author 3 years ago

Thanks. I wish you the best of success, and happy holidays. May your new year produce many positive changes. Blessings :)

SPwrite profile image

SPwrite 3 years ago

Thank you so much for responding to my question. I like that you have laid everything out and have a logical plan for fixing entrenched habits. I will give your steps a try! Thanks again!

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